A lack of honesty and clarity of thought is an issue that we must face bravely throughout the writing of any inventory.
Lazy inventory-taking and categorisation is often thrown about carelessly in conversation by people who don’t know what they’re talking about or what the label they’re using so easily might actually mean. “People-pleasing” is one such phrase often abused.
We sometimes learn quite terrible things about ourselves. This does not mean, however, that we understand why we are like this.
If there is a ledger – a bookkeeping – of the extent of my life and the contributions that I have made to this world for better or worse, I would like that the credits fully pay back the debits.
It is a bright and unflattering light, there in the bathroom, but it is an unerringly honest one. What I think of that man, and whether I even like him very much, has become increasingly important to me.
Much of my youth – though vibrant and energetic and eventful and passionate – was marred by a stubborn inflexibility, a self-centeredness, insensitivity, and immaturity. Recognising and accepting that this was true has been a vitally important part of the process of growth.
Though I can be reasonably confident that I understand certain things about the mechanical and physical way the world works, I am much less certain that I understand anything about the truly important things.